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RICHARD PRYOR

WHY THE PVR ROCKS MY SOCKS

MIX TAPE FOR MARTIN

ONE TANK

FAST FOOD LEXICON

ITS ONLY A BEER BELLY IF WE'RE NAMING OUR SON "BEER".

 
 

 
 

FEATURE PIECES

Dr. Seuss' Three Wise Men (or 'Gaspar Sees A Star')

Rabbit Ears

Adopt a Spammer


A Brief History of the Fast Food Industry

A Brief History of Portable Music


The Comedic Wunderband: Yodacock

 
 

 
 

CATEGORY KEY

 
Life, or Something
Like It
Around the World From Nine to Five
Now the News for Gibbons
That Was Then
It Be Fiction
Site Stuff
Scraps
 
   
 
ONE TANK                              (A FICTION IN 400 WORDS)
 

Let's go.

You and I.

We have just enough jelly for one sandwich, so three are going to be peanut butter only. We reach into the bag with our eyes closed as that's the only fair way to decide who gets it. We won't do rock, paper, scissors because you always win. I don't know how you do it, but you do.

We take your car because mine still smells like cat puke and you have the bench for the front seat. We sit close and drive as far as we can on a half tank of gas, laughing, talking about high school friends we've lost touch with.

We stop at a rest stop and take pictures of each other standing on the picnic tables, the darkening sky huge behind us. A boy, not more than eight, wanders away from his parents and offers to take a picture of both of us. It will one day be my favourite picture.

At night we stay in the car, you lying across the front seat, me in the back, and we talk to the roof of the car, to each other, and I don't know who falls asleep first but at one point we wake up at the exact same time for no reason.

"You awake?"

"Yeah."

And we enjoy the silence that follows.

I open the car door and stretch and yawn and my shoes are wet with dew as I hop in the front seat before you get a chance to fully sit up. It's six o'clock in the morning and we're already laughing.

We have to take the same route home because we can't risk using more gas than we did coming. One tank, that's the deal.

I don't talk as much and you play the radio stations I never listen to and teach me about music. It is the history of rock and roll and I look at your face, your eyes hidden behind your sunglasses, and can't believe you think I'm as cool as I think you are.

When you drop me off we don't say a lot. I wave goodbye and walk up to my front door. I'm almost inside when I hear you calling from the car.

"Remember: Kimmy Loves Jeremy!"

I smile before closing the door behind me; Kimmy does indeed love Jeremy.

At least if rest stop picnic tables are to be believed.