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FEATURE PIECES Dr. Seuss' Three Wise Men (or 'Gaspar Sees A Star') Rabbit
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| FAST FOOD LEXICON | |
I ordered my combo at McDonalds tonight and asked her to Biggie Size my fries. She didn't understand me. It's not that she didn't hear me, not that she couldn't make out what I was saying. She could not comprehend the language I was speaking. I may as well have been speaking Latin. Et tu, Hamburgler? After a confused pause, she reconfirmed my order. "So that's with a small fry?" "No... Biggie size it please." It's my fault really, I didn't realize I was speaking "Wendy's". "Oh, okay." The order for the man next to me is finally ready and as she reads from the till one last time she tries again. "So that's a medium fries..." "No Biggie Size... sorry, supersize or whatever you call it here." "Oh... I thought you were saying Biggie size like, to mean baby size." What??? That doesn't even make sense. She then did a cartwheel and an Italian man playing an accordion came from around the back playing a sad tune. She danced for a bit before pulling on my pant leg and rattling a lone coin inside a rusted metal cup. I felt sad for her and gave her a dime. Somebody gave me my fries but they ceased to be important to me and I walked home with a new found sense of appreciation for my fellow man. God bless you, McDonald's monkey. |
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